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What to Look For in Your Mate, Part 5 Print E-mail


I'm sure people spend quite a bit of time trying to figure out what to put down. The funny thing is, it doesn't really matter. Here's what I've discovered: you could put down very specific requirements and people who don't fit any of them will still answer. One can spend hours trying to figure out what to put for their match and when it's all said and done, people are going to respond regardless pay day loans. Which in a way could be a good thing. Just because you may not fit into one category shouldn't be a reason not to respond. Depending on the significance of the category, it may make a difference as to whether you will receive a response back or not.
As I mentioned earlier, I was fairly specific on a few issues. When I posted my ad, I put down that I would travel up to twenty-five miles. But I had guys responding from all over the country. No, I'm not bragging, well, maybe a little, but it almost defeats the purpose of filling out the profile, doesn't it? I can see a guy responding if he lives 35 miles away, but a guy living on the opposite side of the continent. Get real; have you not seen the price of gasoline lately?

Again, when filling out these sections, they are basically guidelines; we can fudge a little here and there. But the age topic sure can be a little touchy if the person responding doesn't necessarily fall into the age bracket you are seeking. How do you politely tell them that they are too old or too young?

I actually had guys fifteen years younger than the age I posted respond to my ad. Thank you very much for the compliment, but I just can't keep up with you young 'uns anymore. (Although I've been told it's always good to try new things.) It works the same way for the upper end of the range. If you put 45 as your limit and a 67-year-old answers, what do you do, tell him to put on his bifocals and reread your profile? How do you gently tell him you're not looking for a father figure, you already have the real one?

Again, if the age is only off a few years one way or the other, it's not that big of a deal. But what about more serious issues, like children? Yes, I've brought this up ump-teen times, but only because of the great importance it has when finding someone with similar goals. I've received quite a bit of feedback on this incredibly paramount issue; therefore, I feel it's worth reiterating.

Let's say you see a cute guy and you want to respond to his ad, however, he mentions he doesn't want kids. You're thinking, "Hmmm, I'm very attractive, very funny, outgoing and love sports, so I'm sure he won't mind my kids, especially since the twins will be out of diapers any day now."

Are you sure you want to go down this road? The guy stated that he didn't want kids. What part of that didn't you understand? Do you really want to date the guy for six months then bring up the kid issue hoping to persuade him to change his mind because you want kids? Would that be fair?

The guys I talk to want what's on their list. If he wrote that he's specifically looking for "Voluptuous South Pacific Capricorns" you better believe I'm not going to waste my precious time answering that ad and trying to persuade him I can be just as good, if not better. Of if a guy in his forties, fifties, or older wants a 20-year-old and I'm very attracted to him, he still goes directly into the recycle bin. Besides, it's pretty obvious (at least to me) that the guy simply wants a decorative arm ornament. Move on, there's plenty more to choose from. Use a little common sense when deciding whether to respond. You may be setting yourself up for rejection even before you meet.

 
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