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When to Respond, Part 1 Print E-mail


Instant gratification. We all want it and we all want it now. (Gee, I wonder if that's why they call it instant?) Fast, immediate, ASAP, right away, these words are commonplace in the world in which we live today. We have no patience and we want everything yesterday, or sooner! (Especially when it comes to weekends, paydays, and chocolate cake.)

The explosion of drive thrus back up this theory. There's a drive thru for everything imaginable. These days we don't even have time to sit down to eat let alone chew each bite seventeen times. I even saw where there was a drive thru at a funeral home, you know, for those who have no time to mourn the loss of a loved one who you most likely will never see again. What's up with this?

And heaven forbid if we have to wait four seconds for our computer to give us information which used to take us not only hours, but sometimes days to get. Remember when we had to drive to the library, try to figure out the card index, then wander aimlessly around hunting for Dewey Decimal and his "convenient system," looking for the book which should be nestled in the above described section on the topic we need to research only to find out that this particular branch does not have in stock the exact book we just spent hours looking for? (Was that a run on sentence or what?)

I do have to laugh when it comes to my computer. I'm too cheap to pay for the faster Internet service so I patiently wait for my computer to catch up with world events while my clothes slowly go out of style. Mine is so slow that by the time it finishes downloading, all the guys' photos are outdated.

Which brings me, finally, to the point about how anxious and impatient we become waiting for responses from someone we just emailed from the personals. You probably just spent hours going through all the ads, and finally found a few you wanted to respond to. Knowing this is a numbers game; it's best to answer three to six in hopes at least one will think you're cute enough to contact.

Then after we hit the send key, we sit at our desk impatiently waiting for a reply within the next 2.1 nanosecond. And as each second slowly passes by without a response, we slowly become sad, then disappointed, angry, depressed and then suicidal.

"Oh my gosh, he's not going to reply. It was stupid for me to write. What was I thinking? How could I have thought that he would be interested in me? I'll bet it was my hair, I knew I should have worn it down in my picture. And the blouse I had on, it is so old. Maybe heavier makeup or maybe I had too much on. How about colored contacts. More Botox. Waxed! I should have waxed my eyebrows and lip. I'm just going to crawl back under that dumb of rock I've been hiding under for the past decade and stay there till Hawaii freezes over."

After waiting six hours without getting a response you finally decide to go to bed. You toss and turn all night, pulling your hair out trying to figure out what's wrong with you. You start blaming yourself, then your parents for all of your faults and shortcomings. But finally the Sandman comes and before you know it, it's morning.

A little suggestion: If a guy doesn't get back to you within two hours of you responding to his ad, tell the firing squad to hold off for a few more hours. Give the guy time to get home from work and unwind.


 
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