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How to Respond, Part 3 Print E-mail


There's a difference between complimenting people's attributes and being rude and crude. If you think the above statement was a compliment, fine, but I think it says a lot more about where the guy's mind is. Of course men usually do have their minds "there," but you may want to tone it down a bit, especially if you're truly interested. If you're not, go ahead and be rude and crude so you can spend the rest of your life sending out mass mailings and ordering cheap, blow up dolls.

Of course, there are stories about crude guys trying to take advantage of women they meet on the Internet, so this is why is it so important to read between the lines. If the guy comes off sounding like he's too good to be true, watch out, he probably is. And by gosh, be leery of anyone who talks about "rough sex," bondage and other stuff like that, especially in the first email. If this is something you are curious about and want to learn more, take classes for Pete's sake, otherwise you'll be taking the risks right along with the curiosity. Use common sense! If something doesn't feel right or look right or sound right, run. Run, Florence, run!

I would be cautious about anyone who writes about all the hot, steamy intimate sex stuff in the first few emails. If you are looking for a decent, respectful person it's unlikely this will be the one. Even if you're just out for a physical relationship, decent people won't advertise it right up front. I think "dirty talk" in the first few correspondences is a huge red flag and I'd suggest writing off anyone who gets into that too quickly. If things move in the right direction, later down the road, by golly jeepers, talk dirty 'til your heart and all other body parts are content. But use your head before you make any of your other parts available.

One night I was writing back to a guy named Don when I realized he was online at the same time, so we started exchanging a few emails. After six or seven emails I suggested we talk on the phone and proceeded to give him my number, which may not have been the brightest thing to do. But believe me it wasn't the first time I acted then shifted into "brain gear." He wrote back stating he would prefer to email a little more, which was fine and probably a good idea, at least I thought.

Now remember this is the first contact we have had with each other. But by his ninth email, I couldn't help notice how smoothly he steered the conversation from comedy clubs to asking how is it that I like being "pleasured." He told me whatever it was, he was definitely the "right" man for the job. He also wanted to let me know he would be the best kisser and lover I could ever have. Gee, I guess I have something to look forward to. Besides, I can go ahead and cancel my matchmaker memberships, pick out a ring, a house and the names for our first two children; now won't that be nice?

Obviously I knew next to nothing about this guy, he knew the same about me, I haven't even seen a picture of this inconsiderate, disrespectful, brainless moron, and he is going to be the "one" for me. What mental institution did he just escape from?

So when I realized where this was leading, (and it wasn't down the aisle) I immediately ceased any and all contact with this bozo. He continued emailing me for several hours after that, but when he realized I wasn't falling for his you-know-what, he slowly faded into that Internet galaxy far, far away.

Now anyone who continues communicating with a nut case like this can only be asking for trouble. These are things you need to watch out for. You don't start talking about stuff like that to someone you don't know. Big, big warning flag. Pay attention to this, even if you're hornier than a three-balled tomcat, you need to delete this type of person and move on.

Everyone loves receiving compliments and hearing how pretty they are, but when someone starts talking about very intimate, personal details that make you uncomfortable, cease all contact immediately.


 
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