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Advanced Tips on Describing Yourself, Part 7 Print E-mail


One gentleman who responded to my ad definitely let me know he had a daughter and just how important she is. Great, he should, otherwise I would be surprised when I went to his home and saw this miniature female hanging around. It wasn't the fact his daughter was number one in his life, but it concerned me that he had her in every photo he posted and he signed every email with his name and hers. Is this normal, Dr. Freud?

Should I take this to mean we won't ever have any time by ourselves? Will his daughter be joining us every time we dine out and every time we go to the movies or to the nightclubs? What if things progress into an exclusive, long-term arrangement and an eventual proposal, will the three of us be going to Disneyland on our honeymoon?

I'm not telling you to exclude your children in your new relationships; I'm trying to help you realize that if it frightened me away, it may frighten others away as well. A lot of people don't mind if you have kids, but don't overwhelm us to the point where we become resentful. Chill out a little.

When referring to your children anywhere in the ad, you don't need to build them up so much that it will be a turn off to your potential date. You can overdo it with the, "They are my life, nothing will ever take their place, the only love in my heart is for that of my children." This may make it sound like you have no more love to give anyone else. So be careful here.

One thing I noticed that was missing in the ladies' narratives was what they could give or share with someone. We write what we want, which is fine, but I saw very little of what we could give in a relationship. We do have a tendency of making sure we have our needs met, but what a turn on when you can offer something to the guy.

Mention that you are a terrific listener, that you give great back rubs, and that you enjoy buying little gifts for no special occasion. If you don't do any of the above, maybe now's a good time to start. You don't need to tell him you'll cook for him; he'll expect it every night. That is unless you do what I did. I fixed my guy Hamburger Helper on the second date. Guys expect very little from that point on.

It's a great feeling to do something for someone else and not expect anything back. Let him know you are a giving, caring person.

Nothing is etched in stone here. This is a very subjective area, but it is the bulk of your ad. Be creative and for goodness sake don't forget humor. I can't tell you how many people say they are looking for someone with a sense of humor. Especially the guys! They don't want a nagging, bitchy, whiny woman; they want someone who will make them laugh, and enhance their life, and not to mention, cook and clean for them!

So remember, when in doubt, remember the acronym, K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, silly!

TIPS

List your hobbies, interests, and what you like to do to see if there is common ground somewhere.

Try not to sound too desperate in your pleas of finding a mate.

Be short and sweet. Don't give away too much information. Make them want to respond to your ad for more.

Try not to let the narrative be all about "me, me, me." Give a little.

Be funny, and be very positive.

Remember to stay away from the scary words like "commitment, marriage-minded, biological clock, just friends, and hate sports." Let the relationship get off the ground before you start picking out engagement rings.

Don't make yourself out to be a super hero or someone you're not. The more adjectives you use, the more insecure you'll come across.

REFRAIN FROM USING ALL CAPS, IT COMES ACROSS LIKE YOU'RE YELLING AND HEAVEN KNOWS WE CAN USE LESS OF THAT!


 
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