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What to Look For in Your Mate, Part 6 Print E-mail


It's tough enough trying to figure out what we want with all the little blanks to fill in to find a good match, but one thing I'm not a big fan of is the Web sites that try to match you up "like" for "like" and "dislike" for "dislike" in every blasted area. They have you list your favorite hobby, your favorite food, your favorite city, your favorite TV show, your favorite tattoo, everything. Then they attempt to match you up with someone with the exact same interests. What are they trying to do here? I'll tell you what.. .they're attempting to set us up with clones of ourselves. Is that what you really want? They are trying to match you up with...you! Now ask yourself, would you want to spend an entire evening, not to mention your entire life, with another "you!" (Okay, I know there will be a few "yeses" to that, I can't please everyone!)

What's the old saying, "Opposites attract?" I think they're talking about men and women here. I feel it's going to be virtually impossible for these "exact match" systems to work because we normally have a tendency of hooking up with someone quite the opposite. Could you imagine two talkers getting together or two people who both want to be the life of the party? "Love Story" would turn into "War of the Worlds."

Think of your past relationships. Are you neat? Is he sloppy? Are you a spendthrift? Is he a penny pincher? Is he real outgoing? Are you a wallflower? This matching trait for trait is ludicrous. Sure, you want to find someone with similar interests and similar hobbies but you usually find it hard to do. How many women love to dance but their husbands don't. How many men love puffin' on big ol' Cuban cigars and women don't? You need different interests in your lives to build on. Learn about his interests; have him help you with your hobbies. Work with me here.

Most of the above suggestions are simply guidelines, and no one's going to match up perfectly anyhow, so don't spend too many waking hours trying to come up with the perfect match. If you don't seem to be getting many responses, change a few things in your ad, or delete a few arrogant comments and demands and try again.

Most of all, be patient. Give Internet dating a chance, otherwise it's back to meeting people at bus stops, work, bingo halls, and maybe you can still get copies of the latest "Mail Order Brides" catalog.

TIPS

When listing the qualifications you want in your mate, put down what you want, not what you think someone else wants to hear. It'll catch up with you sooner or later if you put down something you don't like to do just to please the other person.

When it comes to children, mark what you truly want. For people who may not know, mark the category, "unsure." That leaves things open for negotiation.

Don't be afraid to go outside of your set parameters once in a while. Always keep an open mind in this game called Love.

Try to be realistic in your "requests." Remember, no one is perfect, so you may not want to waste your time looking for perfection.

If you are not getting the response that you would like, try changing your requested age bracket by a couple years, or increase or decrease your height or weight requirements. That will give you a whole new slew of possibilities.

Don't let the matchmaker sites "do the thinking for you" with their little, "Oh, sorry, according to our survey you only match this person by 32%." Forget that techno-garbage, use your own good sense.

I can't say this enough, "Think outside the boxes!"


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