Home

Puppy Care
Organic Gardening
Digital Photos
Carp Fishing
Join SheDate’s quality lesbian dating community and find your true love.

Wholesale Shoes

User Login

Advanced Tips on Describing Yourself, Part 6 Print E-mail


Maybe you didn't mean for him to take care of you in the monetary sense and if by chance (a slim chance) this is not the case, then you need to rephrase it more carefully. Maybe you meant to say you want someone to "protect" you, or make you feel safe somehow. You need to make sure this is what you really meant to say. And remember, if it is a financial thing, smart guys see right through this, at least the ones who actually do have money.

You say you want to be treated right? Don't we all? Do we have to spell it out? Again, the male translation to this usually is that you are probably "high maintenance," another red flag in the male vocabulary. In a man's eyes it's different to be considerate and kind versus taking you to expensive restaurants, and buying you flowers and gifts every single day. Is this what you mean by being treated right? Again, if not, try rephrasing it.

Try not to sound too "high maintenance" in your ad. This is a major turnoff for most guys. Limit your list of wants and suggest a few things that you can give.

This one gal asked in her ad, "Do you really have what it takes?" What, to please you in every sense of the word, to treat you like a queen and lavish you with gifts and be there at your every beck and call? In my experience, that can be very offensive and unappealing to a guy. It comes across like you are expecting way more from this guy than he is willing or should be expected to give at this point in your (non-existent) relationship.

What is it with some of you women where you want so much right from the start, especially financially? Is this an innate trait females have that I am totally unaware of? I hear so many women say they want to marry a man with money. Why? Why do you feel you are entitled to his money? Yes, since caveman days, the guys were the hunters and the providers. Women were raised expecting to be "taken care of." But you do remember what century this is, don't you? We've got to keep up with the times, and we need to start carrying our own weight and quit expecting so damn much.

If money is your end objective, you may want to wait until after you meet to express that to the guy. If you write "in between the lines" to suggest a hint of wanting his bucks, guys will figure it out one way or the other that that is your ultimate goal.

I am not "female" bashing here. I am simply reciting statements guys have made to me over the past twenty years. When comments are constantly made over and over, there must be some validity to it, so we need to start making a few changes.

Another area to watch out for is the amount you write about your kids. I see quite a few ads, even guys' ads, where they feel a need to belabor how their kids are their world and will always be first in their life. This is fine and, to a certain extent, understood. Most rational people would naturally assume this would be the case. But the way it's worded, I feel like I would be the one taking a permanent back seat to the kids, if not a position all the way in the back of the trunk!

Kids are a major issue when dating. We know you won't be as flexible and spontaneous when kids are involved, but that's not the issue. When someone writes, "My kids come first in my life," I feel like I'm automatically placed second on your list in every category. I'm not saying I should be placed above your kids, but at least make me feel like I am on a close level, especially if the relationship were to progress into something more long-term.


  No Comments.
Discuss this item on the forums. (0 posts)